Are There Still Old Fashioned Marriages Spouse Stays Home Marriage Is Prison – There Are No Walls

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Marriage Is Prison – There Are No Walls

Do you remember the first Matrix movie where Neo meets the spoon-bending boy in the oracle’s waiting room? The boy teaches Neo the secret – There is no spoon. It is the same with marriage; there are no walls. If marriage is a prison, it’s all in your head. You are free to do whatever you want. Really. You see, the confinement of marriage is fictional. It consists of barriers that disappear once you identify them. They are called expectations.

Expectations can build strong prisons that suck the will to live out of you. How? By limiting yourself to a life where you spend your time trying to do the ‘right’ thing instead of living up to your potential or pursuing your dreams.

And expectations attack from all sides, from your family, from her family, from your woman and even from yourself. Everyone has an opinion or idea of ​​what a marriage should be like. You should behave in certain ways and stay far away from certain behaviors. These limitations are cruel, but we accept them. We sometimes call it tradition.

OKAY. Enough beating around the bush. Here is my list of the top ten expectations:

1. You should feel the love for your wife at all times.

This is a romantic ideal rooted in fiction, not life. It is not possible to feel love at all times. Also, love is best shown in action. You tell her you love her by sticking around, by showing interest in her, by doing things together, by romantic gestures, and so on.

2. Your love for her should make you spend less time with your friends.

I don’t know where it comes from, but it’s a relationship killer. A man needs his friends.

3. You should be soulmates, tell each other everything.

This is what many women hope for, but few achieve. But it is not important. You don’t have to be soulmates to have a good marriage. The important thing is to care for each other, enough to be in it for the long haul.

4. Your love for her should make you never want to look at another woman.

Impossible. Men look at women. Period. But that doesn’t mean we’ll give in to temptation.

5. You have to be the handyman, she has to be the caring mother.

If that’s what you want, then of course. Continue. But don’t arrange your marriage this way just because it’s the norm. There are many guys who stay home with the kids while the woman brings home the bacon.

6. You should have sex 3.4 times a week.

Or what the average is, right? Wrong. Having less sex does not make your marriage bad. Like more sex doesn’t necessarily make it better. The important thing is to have sex. Good sex. As often as you both want.

7. You should buy or build an expensive home.

And balance on the brink of bankruptcy for years before you finally pay off the mortgage and can sell the house for a financially secure retirement. If you’d rather live in a trailer and could take a six-month sabbatical, why not?

8. You must have 2.6 children.

Have as many children as you want. If you want to raise a kindergartener, just do it. If you don’t want to have kids, that’s fine too. It is not every person’s obligation to reproduce.

9. You should get a practical, responsible family vehicle.

Like a minivan. Slow, safe and spacious. I had one and loved it. But who says you have to. If you’d rather keep that convertible and haul you kids to school in a little red wagon, you’re the man!

10. You will grow old together.

Yes, that’s what you promised. But relax a bit. You can’t force a marriage to last. Also, on the last day you will not be judged by how long your marriage lasted. Live your life. Love your wife. Have fun together and make plans for the future. Who knows? It can only last till death do you part.

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