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Looking For a New Relationship? Start by Creating a Loving Space
I hear people say that they’d rather wait until they meet someone, which is understandable. But one of the secrets in success is to believe it before you see it. Acting as if it’s true is one of the secrets to business success, and it’s the same in love, believe it before you see it.
So, a powerful step in changing your status quo is to begin with a change in your environment. That means, things, clothes, standards of dress, decorations, art, undies, sporting gear, home, jewellery, friends, cafe’s, modes of transport. And more…
You can start today… clean out the undies, change the room, fix the office, organise the bathroom, improve the space.
Ditch anything that you associate with a past partner, jewellery, gifts and photos. Those past partner’s are in your heart, you don’t need their energy smothering your open window. Everything has energy so, give, sell or dump it. Make space for the new, even leave a picture frame blank or insert a picture of a happy couple you imagine you will become. It’s important.
Environmental awareness starts in your life not with whales and forests and frogs. All that is fine but you need to get your house in order. put on some sandals, before you go out coating the world in leather. That’s a big message from nature. Be the change you want the world to experience.
Take it one step further and change your approach to how you look. Not randomly or with a clothing consultant. Change your approach to your private upkeep first. Mow those nose hairs, wax that moustache, have a hair cut or a wax on your back. I mean present yourself differently. There are men I meet with enough hair coming out of their nose the plant a full coconut plantation and some women with smelly armpits and handbags that have been sitting in the dirt on the floor of taxi’s and busses. This all makes a difference.
Start paying attention to your eating habits, like the way you eat and how you hold your cutlery. I hear people complain about their partner’s eating habits more than any other complaint. I know it sounds trivial if you are really in love, but being in love and being turned on by someone are two different things, and you do want both, I can assure you of that.
We are the environment we create. It all starts at home.
What goes on outside of us reflects the inside. If we create a spacious, uncluttered home our mind and heart become spacious and uncluttered. An uncluttered life has room for a relationship. A cluttered life has room for needs to get fulfilled. You can choose which one you think will satisfy you.
Try an experiment. Clutter your desk. Make it messy. See if it’s true that a messy desk is a messy mind.
Sometimes a messy mind is good, it’s creative and playful, but if your workload goes up or there’s a sudden stress and your mind is scattered, overwhelmed then you might end up in goofball territory. I mean, everything is easy when everything is going your way. That’s going to happen 50% of the time. For the other 50% you are going to need some support because there’s going to be challenge and confusion and uncertainty. I think having an organised space prepares you for that challenge. But it also indicates you are ready.
If your world is cluttered and your life is just one panic after the other you might be hoping that a relationship will solve that. But that’s not going to happen. Relationships don’t solve problems, the exacerbate them. They grow. So if you are cluttered and out of control before a relationship, it’ll only get worse with one.
So today begin the cycle of improving your environment and creating a loving space for your relationship. Create empty time where you would go out if you were with someone. Sit in a bath as you would do if you were with someone. Clean sheets, nice undies, a shower before bed. Act like you are with someone even if you are not. That’s called “the power of attraction.”
Can you see nature’s role in creating a great environment in your home office and mind? This is most important for discipline, clear mind and body and ask yourself how you can bring more nature into your work and home life.
SPRING CLEAN -even in winter – start with your filing system – but you might even go to a colonic and spring clean your intestines.
Consider your hair cut, your clothes, your computer cover. Consider all the affirmations you have around you that signal your appreciation for yourself. Remember, if you appreciate someone else’s dreams and personality and luck and wealth and health more than your own, you are putting them up and yourself down (in nature nothing is missing).
You can’t give what you haven’t got so appreciate yourself and the form of your environment, your mindfulness about order and cleanliness. Treat yourself with abundance, so you can appreciate others.
Go look in your sock, stocking and undies draw and throw out the odd sox, the crappy undies, and the holy stockings. Give yourself no choice but to upgrade what is underneath your clothing because that is a part of your environment too. Don’t keep stuff for camping trips and then start slipping them back into use because you forgot to do the laundry.
Look at your shoes, your brief case, what’s in your brief case and what’s dangling from your arm and neck. Look at it with a non sentimental eye. Does this represent where you’ve been or where you’re going. If it’s where you are going then great, if not, dump it.
Clear the energy in your space by looking around your life for things that are toxic. Clear away stuff that was gifted to you by someone you’ve moved on from. Bring into your home and office what resonates with your vision in life rather than what resonates with where you were.
I’ve worked with a lot of people in underprivileged environments. What is amazing to find out is that those people with the most time on their hands, unemployed, with no sense of hope for the future, have the most disgusting and dirty environments. Which do you think comes first? Does low self worth breed disgusting environments or do disgusting environments breed low self-worth?
Irrespective of the answer to that question, what we clearly know is that they are linked. Not only are they linked for those who are in underprivileged circumstances but they are linked for those in extremely privileged circumstances. I have met so many entrepreneurs and business people who have averaged a plateau in their career, the glass ceiling so to speak, but who are treating themselves in the way they dress and act as they were in the past. So their behaviour and mode of dressing is reflecting the position that they are stuck in in the world. This is not about fashion. This is about recognising that people do judge the book by the cover but it’s not the people who are judging us that I keeping us stuck, it’s ourselves. When we fail to recognise that we are repeating who we were in the past, by constraining our environment to what it looked like in the past, we are subconsciously sabotaging any attempt to escalate our life and improve our vision, inspiration or purpose.
Go to magazines and cut out pictures that show what you want to resonate with. Separate them into the seven areas of life. This is the new you, the new resonation and add pictures from all different sources. You want to appreciate your opportunity. Now, over the next days, look at your clothing, ask yourself this: “do those clothes reflect the me that I want to become in the future? If not – give em up. Don’t wait for the new to arrive – make the space in your life for the new – and then get magazines and choose your brand style – choose a cost level.. beware of synthetic fabrics that carry charges and go for wool, cotton and silk where possible. Throw away fake watches, you are no fake.
I have spent many years of my life in spiritual retreats all over the world. When I first started going I thought it was because I was entering a new philosophy or a transformation in my spiritual consciousness and that was why I felt so amazingly clear and openhearted. But that wasn’t why. The environment in a spiritual retreat is pristine, everything has its place, they clean the buildings three times a day, nothing is out of place. There is a respect for the environment that includes the clothes you wear and the robes of the monks. Nothing is left to chance they know that the external environment has a massive impact on the internal environment of a human being. The art reflects the mysticism of the higher thinking. This is the sort of thinking you need to maintain for a new relationship to come into your life and thrive.
I went home to the family world of a couple who were experiencing the final throes of a relationship breakdown. As I went into the front door of their house there was a picture of Marlon Brando, in a swamp filled cage being tortured in the jungles of a war-torn Asian nation. The husband loved the movie but the wife hated it and yet this was the centre-piece of their home. A metaphor that he believed that her feelings about this picture didn’t affect them. She feared drawing a boundary and accepted this monstrosity to adorn the walls of their love nest. That this was just the beginning of what I witnessed in an environment that gave the relationship very little support.
When you put on your clothes in the morning, put a little love into it. Be glad you have something nice to wear. For that matter, it is highly important that you would be wise to love your clothing and appreciate wearing it. I think it’s better to have one suit of the finest wool than five synthetic ones. But it’s not just what people see, choose good quality underwear to wear next to your skin. Give consideration to beauty and elegance in the clothing you wear.
These considerations will cause a rise in your self-appreciation. You will become less needy, more confident, and you will attract a different sort of person. Of course, the commitment is not just for the courtship, or the honeymoon, it’s forever, a constant improvement process.
People will begin to remark how much better, or younger, you are looking. You will be invited to more gatherings, more often. Your opinion will be more respectfully listened to.
When you appear well, it must be because you have succeeded at something so others will reason that because you look well, you are well and that attracts a healthy partner.
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