Can You Go To Fashion School For Grad Week For True Love, Pick a Beta Male

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For True Love, Pick a Beta Male

Last week we had a number of family members and friends who hadn’t met before. The 20-year-old girls talked about their favorite friends, referring to these boys using such affectionate nicknames as Precious Delight, Pure Sweetness and Totally Dorbs (too adorable). A 28-year-old fellow who overheard this conversation declared that he would drop dead if he thought any woman described him as a precious joy. He insisted that women want the Alpha male, the superhero, the dominant, strong leader of the pack. In his view, these silly girls described sissies, weaklings and effeminate losers. But what he missed was the girls giggling and sighing at the Betas. These loving, demonstrative, communicative, laid back, gentle, sweet guys.

When I was in college there was a guy whose nickname was Trog, short for Trogladyte. One Halloween he dressed up as a caveman and it was the most appropriate outfit I’ve ever seen him wear. I thought he was ugly, but I suppose he had something if you fantasize about being dragged around by the hair and ravishing by the campfire. (Actually, that sounds hot.) But it was the late 70s and alpha males were out of style. The countercultural 60s had glorified what I called the Sensitive Ponytail Man, ie. The beta male. I dreamed of poets and songwriters, not jocks. Of course, the pendulum always swings back, and eventually those guys grew up, went to school, cut their hair, and joined the establishment. Their sons aspired to alpha status.

When it comes to hooking up, alpha, beta and even Omega males are all trying to get a piece. They compete with each other to prove who is the biggest stud. But they should pay more attention. The girls get restless and something stirs in the status quo. Beta males, the sweet, sincere boys who speak the language of women, emerge as heroes in popular culture. Girls want boyfriends who have a bit of femme in them emotionally. They want boyfriends who are best friends. And women have the power to elevate the Beta’s position in life by making him the new romantic ideal.

Jim Halpert, played by Perfectly Dorbs John Krasinski on The Office, is the best living example of the perfect Beta. Sigh. (He actually grew up in the next town over, and I’ve seen him attend mass with his parents when he’s been home visiting. So precious.) Jim Halpert isn’t breathtakingly handsome, but his hotness comes from pure unadulterated love he feels (and demonstrates) for Pam. You just know he loves hours of pillow talk (which, of course, follows hours of putting Pam’s sexual satisfaction first).

Seth Rogan doesn’t do it for me personally, but he’s proven that he’s capable of convincingly playing the leading man. Before watching Knocked Up, you can’t imagine how Katherine Heigl’s character would ever go for him. And when you leave the theater, you don’t buy it. But during the movie, you suspend disbelief. He doesn’t have his act together, but he has a good heart. The raw material is there. In the end, he is made a better man by his love for a woman. Now, that’s a boy women can wrap their arms around.

My own personal crush at the moment is the Free Credit Report guy. He’s so good-natured, so self-effacing, so funny. Okay, maybe I don’t want my daughter to marry him with his bad credit and all. But I bet he would make a really good boyfriend. And in the midst of all this hooking and awkwardness and crap treatment from Alphas, doesn’t a visit to Beta territory sound refreshing? Absolutely wonderful.

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