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Writing an Irresistible Online Profile
Writing about oneself in essay form is a somewhat daunting task that raises many questions for most people. What do I say? Where do I start? Why do they make me do this? As with most aspects of online dating, there are some basic and simple rules that are not necessarily obvious to the newcomer who is just starting to find her/his way through unknown territory.
Although the requirements of dating sites vary such as length and content of your profile, it is important to keep in mind that avoidance is a very sure way to fail online dating. Regardless of the length of your personal ad, be advised that the ‘Taking time to compose something will naturally attract more suitable and compatible matches.
1. Just write a short introduction
This is one way to overcome the writer and is perfectly acceptable in most online dating services. It is important to provide a few good and inviting lines with a clear notification to the readers that it is a “work-in-progress”. Even if you get a healthy number of responses, don’t be tempted to leave your ad unfinished. Remember, Mr. or Mrs. Right will not necessarily respond to photos alone, but may want more in-depth information before making initial contact or responding to yours. Also, once you’ve completed your essay, consider updating it regularly to reflect your new experiences and insights.
2. Search and Save Prospect’s Profiles
Don’t waste time checking out the competition. Instead, look through your prospect’s profiles and gather useful information about how you write in general. You will develop a healthy sense of the site’s use of explicit language, acceptable length, style, etc. More importantly, however, you will discover the characteristics your most desired prospects are looking for in a potential date or mate. And please don’t forget to save the profiles you find most interesting for later contact.
3. Measure your profile and language
It is generally agreed that honesty is the best policy! Having said that; it is also important to “target your market”. Know what species of bees you want to attract and exactly what field you are planting in! In other words don’t talk “leather and whips” if you’re looking for true romance at “Buddhist Buddies Online”.
4. Embrace honesty and avoid deception
Remember that online dating exposes you to that vast cyberspace known as the internet highway, a place where speed demons drive past wonderful people like yourself. Most people are well aware of this and are sane enough to maintain a healthy level of suspicion. Although outright frauds are rare, you don’t want to be caught in the position of telling even an innocent white lie or contradiction. In that case, you will most likely win a one-way ticket to “Dump City”.
5. Freely express your interests and values
When discussing those aspects of life that turn you on, whether it’s a value like having a family, or an interest like skydiving, don’t be afraid to include the truth and the work. Use descriptive and emotional language, for example, “that first jump filled me with a deep sense of freedom.” First, you will allow a prospect to do a search for “skydiving” to locate you. Second, you can give the prospect a powerful subliminal message that you don’t want to be “possessed”.
6. Talk about yourself positively in subtle ways
Too often, personal essays or profiles become nothing more than boring lists of “I” or “Me” statements. Instead, find ways to inject information about your achievements, desires and future goals, casually, through short anecdotes, reflections and humor. It helps to keep your “ideal match” in mind and write to him/her as in a direct conversation.
Adding an audio file, if possible, is especially important because all the information your prospect has received up until now has been visual. A short audio file can enhance, authenticate and complement your well-executed and masterfully written essay.
7. Some things to avoid with a vengeance
Some individuals are uncomfortable writing about themselves and thus feel the need to apologize to the reader. Don’t be one of them! In fact, apologize for anything at all. Remember, “You are a child of the universe and you have a right to be here” Just try not to tell your whole life story.
Your profile should be a symphony of positive notes and tones; not a list of what you don’t want or childish demands like “he must be financially independent”. And don’t try to explain long ideas or personal beliefs. Remember that your audience likely has a short attention span, especially if you’re bored with unnecessary pontification.
On the other hand, don’t reduce yourself to a shopping list of adjectives: “I’m tall, cute, temperamental, sassy, intelligent, etc.” Don’t write: “I’m a simple guy.” Instead, write with an “easy-going” style and you will convey the same message with more credibility. Avoid discussing the past and the need to “tell it all”. Finally, don’t forget that an appetizer is just that, and leave most of yourself and other goodies for the exciting main course and the luxurious dessert.
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