I Am A Person With Old Fashioned Way Metters Home Matters – Changing What’s Wrong

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Home Matters – Changing What’s Wrong

Are things not going as well as you would like in your life or home? It’s a common problem, but where is the answer to fix what’s wrong? Almost all our problems start directly in our own heads. Over the years I have found a way to get to the heart of our problems and see ways to work it out. It all starts with you and your thinking. Follow the 6 steps discussed here and start making important changes in your life and family.

1. This is the most difficult. Don’t believe everything you think now, because you can change what you think. This is really what separates us from the animals – the ability to think about what we think.

Just because you think something is so doesn’t make it true. If you think the world is flat, that doesn’t change the fact that it really is round. If I think someone is mad at me, that’s just a reflection of what I’m thinking and really has nothing to do with what the other person actually thinks. This is reminiscent of a bunch of teenagers who are bound by who thinks what and who said what to whom. “Sally thinks Jake told Ben he loves you.” All of this speculation in no way reflects Jake’s thoughts (or Sally’s or Ben’s for that matter), but only the thoughts of the person speaking. So, when you talk to yourself, be careful to believe everything you think!

2. Ask yourself this question: “What is my struggle?” Try to put on paper exactly what bothers you. Write it in objective and specific terms. ‘Something is not right at home’ may be a gut feeling, but it doesn’t define anything and leaves you confused. Make it specific to you – “I’m bored.” “I have no money.” “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.”

3. Now ask yourself, “What brings me here?” Write down everything you can think of that has brought you to this point in your life. This is not a blaming session, it is an open, honest look at your life, your reactions, your assumptions. Other questions to ask yourself to help with this part of the process are – “What am I hearing?” “What do I see?” and most importantly, “What am I telling myself?”

Pay particular attention to the last question and take the time you need to complete this step honestly and objectively.

4. The next part makes you look for evidence, or fruits, of your thoughts. Here is the question – “What are the physical, or tangible results or evidence of my thinking?” How have you seen your way of thinking manifest in the real world. Be specific.

5. Now is the time to start following what you would like to happen in your world. Be sure to write down the answer to this question as well. “How do I want to be?” Or “What do I want that’s different?” In this step describe what you want in the most vivid details. Use all your senses to describe your desire. It is very important that you see this clearly.

If you go to this step and something in your head says things like: “That will never happen.” “Don’t be a dreamer.” “This is useless.” Go back to step number one. Your life absolutely CAN change, and it starts in your thoughts. Countless people have proven this over thousands of years, and just because you think it’s stupid doesn’t make it so! Keep going! Fight the thought and start changing everything!

6. After all the work you’ve done in steps 1-5, it’s time to look for change. Here is the next vital question you must ask yourself and write down the answers – “What thoughts and actions arise with my new vision?” What are you willing to do to bring about change for yourself? These answers may take time and soul searching, but they are worth the effort.

Decide on 3 to 5 things you have written that you can start working on right away. Write them down and get started! You won’t be perfect at first, that’s okay, it may take long months for real change to bear fruit, but change will come if you persist.

I would like to tell you about my own experience with these steps and some life changes that came because I did just what I tell you to do.

Three and a half years ago I was flat on my back with a back injury that came about because I was over weight, over worked, and over stressed. My husband and three kids set up a bed in the living room for me so I could be in the middle of things (and because I couldn’t walk up the stairs because my back was so bad). I could hardly even walk. I had neglected my health to the point that I was a 5’3″ 178 pound weakling. I was not used to sitting and the fact that I had to stay in bed drove me crazy. My sweet little four year old daughter had to have a Going to a friend’s daycare for a week because I couldn’t take care of her. After four days of this misery, lying there, in pain, lonely for my children, frustrated about everything that wasn’t done, I started for myself I haven’t defined all these steps yet, but when I look back, I see that I did exactly as I tell you.

1. Don’t believe everything you think – I have to take care of everyone and I don’t have time to take care of myself. Others deserve care, not me. I don’t need help.

2. What is my struggle? I hurt, I’m fat, I’m unhealthy, I can’t take care of my family.

3. How did I get here? I always take time to take care of everyone else, but never myself. I think I don’t have time to take care of myself, and that I can just continue like this. I eat garbage. I don’t exercise. I go to bed late and then I don’t sleep well.

4. What are the physical/tangible results? Here I am, can’t do anything. I can barely take care of myself, let alone someone else.

I felt sick inside seeing myself in this situation. Something happened inside me and I said out loud, “I WILL NOT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!” I think I was a little shocked when I heard it out loud. And I said it again, louder.

5. How do I want to be? I closed my eyes and began to imagine running in the yard, playing with my children, without pain. I imagined myself, thin, fit, running. I see walking, swimming – active. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. I began to feel hope again. I was absorbed in the vision of what I wanted – the smell of the outdoors, the warmth of the sun, the fresh air.

6. What thoughts and actions coincide with my new vision? I new I would need physical therapy. I had to eat healthy food in smaller portions. Once I could, I had exercise. I had to develop ways to gain willpower. I need to get more rest. I need to ask for help more often. I had to set aside specific time to take care of myself.

I wrote everything down. I still couldn’t really get out of bed, but I started telling myself, “I’m thin, healthy, and beautiful. I’ll take care of myself, and I’ll be worth it.” (I still tell myself that 3 ½ years later.)

From the next week I was able to start physical therapy. It was a long process, but in a few months I was able to go to the pool. I became more active. I started tracking everything I ate and developed my own system to count my meals. I tried new foods. My whole family was ready to help. They helped me to have the time to exercise every day. I lost 25 pounds and felt better than I had in years.

Then a year and a half into my efforts I hit a setback. I was tired of eating properly. I was bored with my food count. I lost the motivation to stick with it. I gained 15 pounds back and could see the scale go right back to where it was. I was in the dumps thinking, “What’s the use?” Guess what I did? Same thing – I defined the problem, looked at how I got to this place, looked at the results, renewed my vision and set new goals. I mixed things up a bit. I started a step aerobics class. I started running a little bit. I bought a step counter (my secret weapon). I started using a different food counting system to give myself a break from my old one. Basically, I did everything I did before, but revisited it due to my new circumstances. I lost the 15 lbs. I gained back, plus 10 more, for a total of 35 pounds (with the previous loss). I have 16 pounds to go to get to where I want to be. My back barely hurts anymore and last Saturday I spent the day diving with my daughter – something I could never do 3 years ago.

The steps work! Change your thinking and your vision and change your life!

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